Tricking, Not Treating
by goalicego
Summary: What do the Cullens do on Halloween? Lots of tricks. Targeting Mike. Halloween Cullen style.
1. Chapter 1

**So, every since I read Twilight, a LONG time ago, I've always wondered what Halloween was like at their house.**

**Sorry readers, but this is without Reneesme. I just couldn't find a way to include her into the story.**

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**Chapter 1**

"So," I said. "What are we going to do tonight?"

It was Halloween and it was my first year being a vampire. I was especially excited to find out how you celebrate Halloween "Cullen Style."

"Well," Edward said. "Every year we do something different."

"Really? What have you done before?"

"We always dress up. No one usually comes to our house, but sometimes there is that one brave soul. The last time someone came trick or treating at our house, Emmett scared him away big time, and the person has never spoken to us again."

"No way! Who was the person?" I asked, while uncontrollably giggling.

"It was a year after we were married, and apparently Mike still held a grudge. We were up in Alaska, but apparently there was a lot of fun going on here."

I laughed even harder. Of course Mike would be the best person to prank. "What did Emmett do?"

"Maybe he should tell you."

Not five seconds later, Emmett was in the room with us, sharing his story.

"Well," he told me, "every year I get ready to pull a trick on someone just in case they come. We'd never had anyone over so my ideas just kept building up and becoming more elaborate. So, I was all set for someone to come over. That year, I had gotten Jasper to help me. He was laying on the porch, looking like he was dead. It was, actually, not too hard for him to do. We covered him in blood and made it look like he had just been run over.

"When Mike drove up to our house, instead of walked, Jasper used his vampire speed and laid in front of his car. Mike who, was of course mortified, jumped out and, seeing that he had hit Jasper, ran to the house for help, asking for Carlisle. I got to him before he made it to the house, though. I was dressed in all black and ran in vampire speed around and around him so that he couldn't see me.

"I started saying things like, "Oh Mike, how could you do this?" and "You will be damned for the rest of your life!"

"Of course he freaks out. But then, little did I know, Alice had seen what was going too happen and decided to join me along with Rose. We started talking to him and acting like ghosts. We actually said some pretty scary things to him.

"Anyway, the best part of the night was when he got so scared he peed in his pants and started crying. By the time he made it to the door and to Carlisle, his face was all wet, his pants were soaked, and he was hyperventilating.

"Carlisle ran at human speed with him down the driveway to his car. But, when they got there, we had already cleaned everything up and it looked like Mike was just making things up. The look on his face was priceless.

"He still doesn't know it was a prank. He thought it was himself seeing things, but since it happened in our driveway, he will not talk to us ever again, even though Esme gave him three bags of candy for attempting to be a trick or treater. She also felt sorry for him.

"And that was my first, and best, Halloween trick," Emmett finished, proudly.

"Wow. What a story!" I said.

"Tell me about it," Edward replied. "I was just told he did a trick on someone, I never got all the juicy details. That was amazing! I wish I could have been part of it!"

"I know! Me too!" I exclaimed. "A prank on Mike. How much better does a Halloween get?"

"I guess we'll find out today!" Edward told me.

I suddenly had an idea. A wonderful idea. It was perfect!

"Edward, Rose, Emmett, Bella!! Get down here, now!" Alice yelled.

We all made our way down to the family room of our house. An excited Alice was jumping up and down. Jasper was trying his best to hold her down. I, again, wondered how he dealt with her strong emotions. "Sit down sit down!!" she told us.

"Bella has an amazing idea that we are absolutely doing!"

Everyone looked at me. "I didn't know you had an idea, Bella," Edward said tightening his arms around me.

"Well, I had just thought of it but was immediately called down here by Alice."

"Sorry," Alice mouthed in my direction. She still didn't have control over her excitement.

"Well, tell us what it is!" Emmett said.

"I thought that, since it's been about twenty five years since we lived in Forks, I thought that we could go and prank Mike Jr. He won't know who we are, and we just have to stay out of the way of anyone we know."

"I've already seen it!" Alice said. "And we make it there and back perfectly."

"Oh it's on!" Emmett said.

We spent the rest of the morning planning what we were going to do. We had it all sorted out. I ran upstairs to get dressed. I put on a cute witch's costume. It was very short and all black. All along the bottom was purple fluff. I put on a hat to go with it that was, also, lined in purple.

I did my makeup really quickly, only putting heavy eyeliner on.

I had to admit that I would never in a million years wear this outfit, but since we were going to a whole different place where no one would see us, I decided it would be fine.

Edward came in, then, to get ready. He saw me and froze. "That bad, huh?" I asked.

He looked like a statue coming back to life. "No. Not at all." He put his arms around me and kissed me. He then whispered in my ear, "You know, I've always been a little fond of witches."

"Oh really?" I asked.

"Definitely. I don't think a witch has ever looked this cute, though." He kissed me again.

"Hey! Get ready in there! We're going to be late!!" I heard Emmett yell.

Edward got ready super quickly. He was, naturally, a vampire, or what people think vampires are. None of that fake blood, though. I laughed when he opened his mouth and I saw fake fangs attached to his teeth.

"That totally completes the look!" I said.

"I agree!"

We walked downstairs, hand in hand. I laughed when I saw what everyone else was dressed up as.

Emmett was, naturally, something scary. He had a lot of fake blood running from his shoulder and huge black and gray circles all around his eyes. His face was all white with a gray tone. He had heavy eyeliner on and torn clothes.

"What are you supposed to be?" I asked him.

"I'm a dead person. People can make up their own idea of how I died."

"Of course something scary."

"Duh. It's the only time of the year that we actually get to scare people."

Rosalie was dressed up as a prom queen, an honor she never got to experience. It definitely suited her, though.

"Don't worry," she told us. "I've got a change of all black clothes with me for when we go tricking people."

"That's my girl!" Emmett said.

Alice was dressed up as a fairy. It definitely suited her, too. She wore a cute green dress and cute little clip on wings. She also had sparkles all over her face.

"I brought black clothes, too!" she said.

Jasper was a prince. No doubt it was Alice's idea. This was confirmed when he noticed all of us raising our eyebrows and staring.

"What? Alice made me! You know she always gets everything she wants!"

We all, except Alice, burst out laughing. This was going to be fun!

**--**

**So this story is going to be really short. It's just something I decided to do because I was bored and was, at the same time, thinking about Halloween. **

**Please check out my other story Eloquently Enamored. That is the story I really love. This one is just for fun and sillyness!**

**Please review for me and let me know if I should keep going or not!**

**:) goalicego**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed for me. A shout out to my anonymous reviewer ****Sazzy.**

**Chapter 2 **

"What are Esme and Carlisle doing tonight?" I asked Edward.

"They're just staying here and handing out candy. Esme loves to watch children's faces when they get candy, and she never got to do that in Forks. She just wants everyone to be happy and kids hold a special place in her heart." Edward smiled.

We were now on our way back to Forks. We had all our equipment and had promised Carlisle, several times, that we would be safe and not get seen.

When we got back to Forks, it was like coming home after a long vacation, but not finding your family there. Sure, the town was exactly the same, but there were so many children that I didn't know. It was sort of Eerie in a way.

I was expecting this, I just didn't know it would be so hard to deal with.

My whole family lived with me, so there really wasn't anything to come back to, but still, it's always comforting to see familiar faces. Right?

"I don't recognize any of these people," I told Edward.

"I know what you mean. I think we'll see them later, though. It's only four o'clock. No one's going to be trick or treating until at least six."

"I guess I know. It's just weird, you know?"

He nodded.

"Come on!" Emmett yelled. Well, yelled so that only vampires could hear. "We've got to scout our area and get everything set up!"

We ended up going to Mike's house first.

"Wait," I said. "How do you know where he lives? He doesn't live in the same house he did before."

Everyone except Edward and Alice were wondering the same thing.

"Well," Emmett said. "Ever since that first real prank, I've been keeping tabs on him and 'checking' on him every Halloween."

Rosalie smacked him in the back of his head. "You idiot! Do you know you could have exposed all of us! You were by yourself!! And trust me, I know what you are capable of!!"

"You've never been a victim, though," Emmett said, trying to be sweet to make up for some of the friction Rosalie was making evident was now in the air.

"Don't even go there!" she said.

"Come on Rosie! You're included this time!" He knew her well enough that she was just stubborn because she didn't get to go.

"Okay. But just you wait until we get home!!"

"Sure!"

There was silence for about thirty seconds.

"So," Alice said when it must have become too much for her. "You ready to make a plan of action for this house?"

"Oh Mike!" I said. "You better watch out for what's coming at you!"

"So, this is what we're going to do," Alice said. She certainly had this all planned out. I had to admit, she had some pretty good ideas.

* * *

It was about six at night, and already dark. Of course it would be dark here a little early because there was no sun. It was a clouded night. Very eerie.

"Ok. We're ready," Jasper said. "It's time for the first killer for Mike! Are you ready, Bella?"

"Yes."

"Be careful, Bella," Edward told me. He pulled me to his chest and kissed me really quickly.

"Love you."

"Love you, too."

I then came out of the shrubbery in Mike's back yard. The rest of my family was still hiding.

Apparently shortly after we left Forks, Mike proposed to Jessica and they got married. Even though they were still arguing a lot, they decided to make what they could of the marriage and stick with it. They now had three boys that were six, thirteen, and sixteen. Jessica and Mike never really spoke, but when they did, they were arguing about something.

I looked in the kitchen window to see an older version of Jessica helping her six year old son with his make up. Apparently he wanted to be a good vampire. Well, that was ironic! Apparently all of Jessica's worrying about blemishes and wrinkles didn't pay off because, well, need I say more?

Their nine year old son came running into the kitchen, next. He was dressed up as a bad vampire. He really did look scary. He had fangs and fake blood running all across his face.

"Nick, please settle down. We'll leave as soon as your brother's ready!" Jessica sounded tired and depressed. As much as we didn't get along during the two years we knew each other, I felt very sorry for her. No one deserved to feel like that.

I walked over to the window by the family room. Ah! There was Mike. He was talking to his sixteen year old son. Boy did he look…well, you can think about that one! He looked older. How old was he now? Forty-five? Almost fifty?

"Now Alex, I know you really like her, but sometimes you don't get who you want. It happens daily. Don't feel bad just because she doesn't notice you at all. That happened to me and look what happened! I got your mom. It's a win win situation. Fate will happen the way it's supposed to." He didn't sound happy about being with Jessica.

"So please do not try to scare her! She's not going to notice you just because you scare her. I mean, she may, but not in the way you want her to."

"But Dad! That's the only way I'm going to get her attention! Plus, what do you know?"

"Trust me, I know from experience!"

"What? Tell me."

"Well, there was this girl that I really like. She was the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen. She didn't have eyes for me, though. She was into the jerkiest boy in the whole school. Sure, I never actually talked to him, but I just knew he was totally wrong for her.

"And, I still think of her. A lot. I just wonder how life would have been different if she had never said yes to him."

Ok. Sure I felt a little sad for him, but he had definitely hit a nerve by just calling Edward jerky.

"Bella calm down!" I heard Edward whisper to me.

That was it! I was going in! I ran past the window with my vampire speed and ran my steal finger nails against the window. I heard Mike and Alex jump.

"What was that?" Alex asked.

"It must just be a branch from the tree. We have to cut it soon. Do me a favor, go check on your mother and brothers. See if they need any help or anything." Mike put on a strong face, but I could tell that he was just the slightest bit scared. He must be expecting it by now.

"Whatever." He then walked out of the room.

Mike came over to the window and looked out. I was up against the wall next to it so that he couldn't see me. He then walked back a little, but then turned back. When he turned back, I decided then was the time to run past the window. It was faster than a human run, but not quite vampire speed so that he could still make out that he was seeing me.

He gasped. "Holy-. She's back!"

This obviously meant that he had hallucinated about me before. If only he knew what was coming for him later tonight.

This was going to be an extremely entertaining night!

**--**

**Thank you for giving my story a chance! This wasn't a very eventful chapter. The next chapter should be good, though. **

**If anyone has any ideas of other tricks they can do, I would love to hear them. They don't have to be on Mike, they can be on anyone. **

**Also, check out my other story, Eloquently Enamored. It's my favorite story that I've written so far. If you read it, please answer the poll in my profile. **

**Please review for me! I love knowing what you think! Constructive criticism is fine, and anonymous reviews are good, too.**

**Thanks!**

**:) goalicego**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry about the slow update! I really want to get this finished before Halloween (or on!).**

**Thanks big time to all who reviewed for me! I love you all!**

**This chapter is dedicated to Edwardluvermonkey52. Thanks!  
**

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**Chapter 3**

The rest of my family loved the idea of being subtle about scaring Mike, and then making it more and more conspicuous. We came up with a slightly different game plan.

Luckily, the odds worked in our favor, when Jessica took the two younger boys out trick or treating and the eldest boy went out in search of some girl, leaving Mike home alone to hand out candy.

He had been slightly shaking after what had already happened to him, even though it really wasn't very scary at all.

My family all changed into their black clothes while I remained behind the bush. Emmett rang the doorbell like a little kid who couldn't wait to claim his candy. Then, they all started running extremely fast to human eyes so that they could not be seen in the darkness.

"Well, who do we have this time?" Mike asked as he was opening the door. When he saw that there was no one, his body shook a few times, before he regained his composure. He was about to close the door, when Emmett's voice rang out.

"Mike, why do you insistently think about leaving your wife?"

Then Edward threw in, "You knew you never had a chance with my Bella. Why do you continually have disgusting thoughts about her? She will never be with you now. She has left your world, which is why I have as well."

Ok. I did not want to know. I mean, how awkward is this?: Your husband hearing those kinds of thoughts about you from someone else's mind. Yuck.

Mike whimpered.

Then Alice spoke. "You killed my Jasper. I was never able to live without him. You were the cause of my death." After she finished that, Jasper ran past him, into his house and then back out, so that Mike could feel the wind, but still not see anyone.

Mike started shaking uncontrollably. I took this as my cue. I walked in front of the house. Plain that he could see me, but still making it look as if I was a hallucination.

When Mike saw me, he dropped the bowl of candy he was holding. "No way!" he whispered.

Suddenly, Edward was at my side, and he had his arms around me. My face lit up and I leaned up to kiss him.

Apparently, Mike had seen enough because he slammed his door and ran to his couch, where he threw himself on his stomach. "Just a hallucination. It happens all the time, Mike. Don't let it get to you!" he was telling himself.

I started laughing uncontrollably with the rest of my family. "Hello?"

I looked to my left, only to see Mike's eldest son standing there, wide eyed. "Well, umm, I was wondering if you wanted to go trick or treating with me. I haven't seen you around here before, and it would be a great way for us to get to know each other."

Oh no! Not again! Didn't he see Edward standing with his arms around me? I guess the saying, Like Father, like son, really did apply.

**--**

**Sorry for the super short chapter. I just wanted to get this part out.**

**Please give me ideas for what you want to see. Even, just give me something I could maybe incorporate in. I need some ideas for the next chapter! **

**So, anyway, review please! I love anonymous reviews, too!**

**:) goalicego**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much to all of my readers and reviewers. Big hugs to all of you! **

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**Chapter 4**

"Sorry," I told Alex, Mike's oldest son, "but I don't trick or treat. Plus, I'm already with someone." I put my arms around Edward and he tightened his arms around me.

"Oh. Well, maybe some other time?" he asked, hopeful.

"Sure," I said. There was no way I was going to see him again ever.

After he left, Edward teasingly whispered in my ear, "You are becoming a bigger problem than I realized." He grinned, "I told you that you are too attractive for your own good. But do you listen to me? No. How many more will it take for you to realize this?" He kissed me then.

"I'm not sure, but I do know one thing. I will never leave you!"

"That's good!" he replied.

"Hey! Lovebirds! Get over here! The night is wasting away!" Emmett yelled.

We made a quick plan and Edward and I got ready. When Mike opened the door, again for trick or treaters, we ran past him and into the house. He obviously didn't see us, but he must have felt us because he shivered. I took a seat on the couch, looking very comfortable there, while Edward ran out of the room and out of sight.

When Mike came back, he put the bowl of candy down, but still didn't see me. "Hello Mike," I said.

He jumped and looked up at me. His jaw dropped, maybe because I looked so real. Well, I was real, but he didn't need to know that.

"Wh-What a-are y-y-you d-doing here?" he managed to get out. Not very well, though. It definitely helped having my vampire hearing.

I quickly jumped up and ran, at vampire speed so he didn't see me, to the other side of the room, still away from Mike. He jumped. "I wanted to see you!" I told him. I couldn't tell if that was a lie or not. I did want to see him just to scare him, but I didn't actually want to see him. I thought I'd left him behind with the rest of my human life.

"R-really?" he asked.

"Yes really." I then ran to the other side of the room, still staying away from him. He jumped yet again. "It's been so long, what have you been up to?"

"N-not too m-much. J-just the usual i-in this sm-small t-town."

"Right," I said.

Edward suddenly appeared behind me with his arms around me. Mike flinched and whimpered. "Hello," Edward said very politely.

"H-h-h…" Mike couldn't even finish. He must still be upset at Edward for my choosing him. Seriously though, how hard is it to say hi? It's one syllable and two letters!

"Well, if you could please excuse us," Edward told Mike. "We are a little busy."

Mike nodded. Edward lifted me up bridal style and ran out of the house with me.

Once out, I told him, "That was so much fun!"

"I know!" he agreed.

Of course, who did we run into, but the famous Alex. "Hey," he said.

"Hi," I said, sounding bemused. Edward said an abrupt and warningly "hi."

Alex flinched and quickly went into his house. I laughed.

About half an hour later, when Mike was alone in the house, yet again, we decided to vandalize. First, we took toilet paper and "decorated" his house. Then, Emmett and Edward took these huge packs of ice, and ran them around and around the house in vampire speed. Eventually, the windows started to fog and it looked like it was getting cold in there. The rest of us took eggs and smashed them against the windows. We didn't throw them because we didn't want to break anything, plus we wanted to be quiet for the element of surprise.

Mike must have felt the cold, because he came out and looked around. We were all hidden behind the bushes. "Darn kids!" he said. He obviously thought of something else with the cold.

We continued making the house cold.

**--**

**Please review for me! Give me ideas!!! I think the next chapter will be the last one. I'm really going to try to get it out today!**

**Anonymous reviews are welcomed, too!**

**~goalicego~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you everyone who reviewed for me! Especially to all of my readers and reviewers who review and support both this story and Eloquently Enamored. I love all of you!**

**So this is the last chapter. I hope you like the ending.**

**--**

**Chapter 5**

We had all had an amazing night. Interrogating Mike had turned out to be one of my favorite Halloweens yet.

When Jessica came home and saw what her house looked like, she threw a fit and yelled and yelled at Mike. Mike just took it all in. He had nothing left in him to fight.

We were almost done for this Halloween, but there was just one more thing we wanted to do.

After the night's activities had settled down, and people were beginning to go to sleep, we decided that we wanted to say goodbye to Mike before we left. Lucky for us, Jessica kicked him out of his room, so he was on the couch. Edward and I convinced the rest of our family that it should just be us who went in. They all obliged and the two of us were off.

We snuck into the house. Everyone was sleeping. I walked up to Mike and rubbed my cool hand on his cheek to wake him up. "Mike."

He moaned. Obviously, he loved his sleep.

"We just wanted to say goodbye. Thank you for the entertainment today. See you next Halloween!"

Edward then pulled me into his arms and we made our way home under the full moon and in the nice cool air of the night.

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**Happy Halloween Everyone!!!**


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